so last night, i told.
the old adage that the eyes are the windows of the soul is absolutely dead right, not having to say a word knowing you understood. made it all the easier, because words are always confusing, always misleading. it feels better right now, knowing that someone knows
phrenology, if only we were brought up to believe. shape of skull - identification. it would be like sounding a siren to say danger-stay two feet away at all cost- on your head.
how intelligent is the heart?
actions, the natural body's way of shouting out a whisper that pounds on the inside.
i believe in signs, right now. when 1+2+3+4+5+6+7 people tell you the same thing, it's not a coincidence. sometimes, thinking of the many people you will save from sadness by sacrificing your desire, would make the world an easier place to live in, while waiting to walk from earth into eternity. life, it's long, 70 years, suppression isn't easy, but it sure works for the better of others.
if it is your wish that i kill this part of me, i will do it. bury it with love that was true, but buried it will be.
i listen to people who love me.
goal 2008- organise a gig for agape kids.
one could never have enough socks, particularly in view of the tendency of socks to disappear in the laundry, no matter what precautions were observed, socks disappeared into the bermuda triangle for socks, a swirling vortex that swallowed one sock at a time, leaving its partner awfully stranded.
says alexander.
so, i've pretty much got both my trips planned out. one's confirmed, the other's not booked yet but i'm all set to go. one's a trip, one's more like an breakaway. you can still contact me, this time i will be considerate and leave my phone to operate normally. thankyou lulu for all your helpful travel advice, i'm definitely lookin forward to dining with you and kailee! above all else, the all saints' english woman's retreat is round the weekend, my first time leading adults. oh terror. on the inside. but it's pretty exciting, i just gotta work out a way to speak think listen to God play the piano keep my eyes open and sing simultaneously. i have no ability, but God will work a miracle on me.
i've come up with about 4 pages of new chords, all jazz progressions, and i just know the kids will be delighted to have them fr sunday school worship. i think they deserve more more more.when you work in a team with the adults, you gotta play to fit in, but when you're a one-man-island, it's whatever i want and i like that very much(: so well, one problem's fixed, i'm no longer sulking at the piano and feeling useless. the magic is inching back.
speaking to my brother again. he's urging me to go to either australia or the us to study dentistry if i fail to make the cut here. i've no idea what my dad's financial status is, but my brother says it's 'definitely sufficient' . i don't quite like sufficient, i will only consider if my dad has some magic windfall. right now the other house is enblocking, so if that happens successfully i will gladly go IF THERE'S a need. but right now, hopelessly hanging on to the skinny thread of hope of making it here is making me consider going australia again, but who am i to feel rich.
oh yes, i have been waking up at 3 am everyday since last monday, and waking up at 7 am everyday needless to say. sleep deprived monster.
